Oh yeah!

I forgot! I just saw the BEST freakin' music video EVER! You should check it out!

(Alright, you weirdo, I shall check it out...now leave me alone to hibernate inside your head---ooh, random!)

http://music.yahoo.com/video/default.asp?vid=34917102

Um...yeah...

WHATEVER!

I'm in a not-so-great mood...though I'd rather not place this on my blog.

It's not so great when you don't write on your blog for a while and then write something not so great...haha.

So yeah, let's do a little switchamaroo---

Written on the board in my classroom:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sixth graders are weird,
but I love them, dude!

This will be the title on the cover of our sixth grade poetry anthology. Check it out, yo!

:)

Don't eat FUL (beans) or HUMUS (made of beans) for Suhur...

before my class!

SERIOUSLY!

Someone farted loudly in my class today.

I tried to be professional and get my kids to keep working...to keep focusing on what I was teaching on the overhead.

But I couldn't help it...
I laughed...
and then laughed...
laughed some more...
then made my kids finish up our work until someone started laughing...
first I was mad, then I smiled...
then we all laughed some more, even the kid who farted.

He was embarrassed at first, but then he was a cool sport and laughed with us.

I bet he'll skip the humus tomorrow! :)

To remain title-less...

I don't feel so well these days....

But that's no way to begin a new blog entry. That's no way to write. I feel, therefore I should write something else. :)

Ah, back to my cheery self (that covers the darker insides).

AHHHHH...I'm taking a bunch of teenage girls to a restaurant for iftar tonight. They voted for a Chinese buffet (I think I swayed the vote...even though it was electronic and I couldn't exactly cheat---but it only takes a few words to the girls and BAM get what I wanted *evil laugh*). So yeah, what was I thinking? Girls, me, food, girls, and more teenage girls...fun, misery, and more misery? :) Insha'Allah khair.

I feel better now (at least that is what I want to write).

He happily makes his choice, away from haram...
...I quietly hide from the ridicule (rejoice) to follow.

The guy in the car behind me pulled out his camera. From where I was, it looked like he aimed it at my car and snapped a shot.

Did he really just take a picture of my car? I wasn't even driving recklessly! Honestly, I don't even think I cut him off or drove fast around the weird guy behind me?

Should I be scared?

Maybe he was just reviewing pictures on his digital camera that he stores next to him in his car. Or maybe...he was taking a picture for a website that documents bad drivers in Tulsa.

Should I be scared?

Am I a celebrity with crazed paparazzi following my every step?

Should I be scared?

I don't think so.... but then again...

:)

Hmmm....

The guy in the car behind me pulled out his camera. From where I was, it looked like he aimed it at my car and snapped a shot.

Did he really just take a picture of my car? I wasn't even driving recklessly! Honestly, I don't even think I cut him off or drove fast around the weird guy behind me?

Should I be scared?

Maybe he was just reviewing pictures on his digital camera that he stores next to him in his car. Or maybe...he was taking a picture for a website that documents bad drivers in Tulsa.

Should I be scared?

Am I a celebrity with crazed paparazzi following my every step?

Should I be scared?

I don't think so.... but then again...

:)

Hmmm....

The guy in the car behind me pulled out his camera. From where I was, it looked like he aimed it at my car and snapped a shot.

Did he really just take a picture of my car? I wasn't even driving recklessly! Honestly, I don't even think I cut him off or drove fast around the weird guy behind me?

Should I be scared?

Maybe he was just reviewing pictures on his digital camera that he stores next to him in his car. Or maybe...he was taking a picture for a website that documents bad drivers in Tulsa.

Should I be scared?

Am I a celebrity with crazed paparazzi following my every step?

Should I be scared?

I don't think so.... but then again...

:)

Ramadan Mubarak!

May Allah bless us all with a Ramadan filled with mercy, forgiveness, and freedom from Hell.

Ya Allah, please guide me and my family to the straight path!
Oh Allah, please forgive me for all of my sins.
Oh Allah, please bless my family and my closest friends.
Oh Allah, please give us the best in this life and the best in this life.
Ya Rab! Please forgive my mother of the sins she committed while she was alive. Oh Allah, please make her grave comfortable and filled with the light of heaven. Oh Allah, have mercy upon her.
Oh Allah, please bless me in all my relationships.
Oh Allah, please give Sabrin and her family a safe trip to Chicago.
Oh Allah, please bless Nadrine and Sabrin and me.
Oh Allah, give us good husbands that will make our lives easy and fruitful; make them of those that fear You and seek Your reward; make them of those who strive to make this Ummah great and persevere in their mission; make them of those who will be admitted to Jannah; make them of those who would make good fathers, good husbands, good friends, good companions, and good Muslims.
Oh Allah, please make us good wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters; place in our hearts the goodness and sincerity that will make us among those who fear You and seek Your reward; make us of those who strive to make this Ummah great; make us of those whose intentions are right and actions are blessed.
Oh Allah, thank you for the opportunity to see another Ramadan in my life.
Oh Allah, bless me with it.
Ameen.

Back in the day...

Does anyone remember the old shopping carts with calculators on them that they used to have at grocery stores?

(I wonder what brought that to my mind?)

I actually wanted to write other things...too busy, lazy, tired...just don't wanna do it yet....

:)

Home Sweet Home

A parent walked into my classroom today. She looked around, from one corner to the next, from the ceiling to the floor. Then she flashed me a huge smile.

"Oh, your room," she began, "it's wonderful!"

Made my day even better. Awesomeness (my world, my words).

Alhamdulillah.

******************************

I taped poetry to the floor of my classroom. The kids have to read it because they step all over it. Ideas like these make kids learn (it wasn't my idea, I got it from scholastic).

Tricking kids into learning is awesome!

...darn

It's raining outside!

Does that mean I can't go running today? Man...I was really looking forward to that!

She couldn't cry out loud...

You crave
sweet dependence
caressing your shoulder

I seek
cool independence
lifting a burden off my shoulder

Don't make me write a letter!

Letter to the editor, August 15:

I do not begrudge Muslims' desire to retain their way of life and culture. However, I do not want to convert to Islam. I will fight to the death to prevent it.

This is where America is today. Either we fight to the death or we convert to Islam. It's that simple. That's what they want. That's what they fight for.

Many of us talk a good talk, but too many of us don't back it up. Freedom isn't free! Either we fight for it or we lose it.

John R. Wilkinson, Tulsa

My response sent to the editor:

Following the tradition of Jonathan Swift, the great satirical writer, I sit this day and write my dear friend Mr. Wilkinson (“Fight or Convert” Letters August 15, 2006). Dear Mr. Wilkinson, you are right: America is at war with “them.” Those Islamics who spend night and day working on plans to trick poor, innocent American men and women into fighting against this nation of perfection and absolute freedom. You are most definitely right: we must “fight to the death” to save our souls and our flawless country. So rather than just “talk a good talk,” let’s “back it up.” Since we must “fight to the death” let’s adopt an action plan.

First, we must absolutely refuse to convert to Islam. The idea of a religion that believes in only One God and prophets like Noah, Jonah, and David is too radical for any American. Indeed, if any pure American is approached by one of “them” and is asked to convert, immediately denounce their monotheistic religion and seek help from other pure Americans. Together we can make sure our freedom is preserved.

Then we should place all those who believe in this radical religion in small camps or prisons. We should detain them much like we did the Japanese after Pearl Harbor. That move greatly strengthened our nation making it a better place for freedom to thrive. Just as then, our enemy is as clear. So let us imprison all those who adhere to Islam, thereby proving our love of freedom and our promotion of the greater good.

Finally, we should give them the opportunity to repent for their evil ways. Just like we showed the Native Americans the errors of their “savage” ways and forced them to adhere to our rules of language, dress, and religion, our new enemy must simply convert to acceptable American society. Either they convert or fight our society and face such consequences as near extinction and loss of their culture. We, as righteous, conscientious Americans, must stand up to defend freedom. If you choose to live in America, you have the freedom to change and if you do not I have the freedom to fight you.

You are right Mr. Wilkinson; freedom isn’t free. Just as our forefathers fought against anything so apparently wrong (like the fight against the Native Americans’ savage ways upon our arrival to this land, the wars against abolitionists during the years of slavery, and the imprisonment of Japanese nationalists in America after Pearl Harbor), we must “fight to the death” against this clear and present danger. In fact, this is a holy war. Our American jihad must end in victory and true democracy.

So I choose to stand up next to you, fellow American, and defend America. Should I die, let it be known it was for a just, American cause and I died a martyr.

Kamlah, Tulsa

Masha'Allah....Alhamdulillah

SubhanAllah! I just had the best weekend EVER!!! This lock-in was, alhamdulillah, the BEST lock-in to date. The girls were awesome! I did not have any of the disciplinary problems we had last year and they were all fun to hang out with and super nice! :)

Also, the team of leaders was made up of an amazing group of sisters. They all knew what to do and how to do well, masha'Allah. And although I already knew all the leaders, I connected with them on a whole new level. They are amazing sisters who dedicated their time and effort for the sake of Allah. May Allah continue to bless them and reward them.

Overall, I think we really did grow as a group of sisters. I pray that our iman was sparked and the seeds of love, hope, and iman will take root and grow into something great.

I'll have to write more about the awesome-ness later! And I have tons of awesome pics to post later insha'Allah.

Alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah... (WOOOHOOOOOOOO)

For myself...

I'm tired...this lock-in really drains me no matter how many people help me out. Alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah....

I can't go to sleep easily at night (very weird for me...I love my sleep and things don't usually bother me so much)...I'm nervous about it. It is a lot of responsibility, but I love doing it. And I'll love the results insha'Allah.

Insha'Allah my intentions are in the right place.

Tawaklna ala Allah---We put our faith in Allah....

And when we do, it all turns out even better than we could have ever planned alone. It turns out even greater than we thought possible. It becomes something of Ibada (worship) and a means of constant reminder of His generosity, wisdom, and mercy.

Alhamdulillah.

Surprisingly (not really), I feel so much better! :) Alhamdulillah.

How do the children feel?

The windows were up for once. The air conditioner was blowing gusts of cool air onto my face. I sat alone in my mid-size car cruising on a decent paved highway on my way home from work. It was peaceful.

The silence of random thoughts and pampered living was crushed by the small jets zooming overhead. I had not heard their engines roar that loud before. Another passed above me. And then another ripped through the bubble that I live in.

Comfort, ease, it is all an illusion. With just one plane it could end. With just one drop, I would end.

The windows were down. The hot, humid air slapped my face as I awoke to find reality. I was teary eyed in my mid-size gas guzzling vehicle traveling a short distance on my way home. It is all an illusion.

Bibatee, bobatee, boo!

...stayed up late last night to watch Cinderella...yeah, I still remember some of the songs. My 2-half year old sister Nora loved it (she stayed up with me and so did my lil bro---though he'll never admit it). My mom said she wouldn't go to sleep until she recapped the story to my dad who was already asleep. 'Maskeena Cindrella, maskeena!' ('poor cinderella')....'maza3't foostanha' (her dress is torn)....'Cinderella khabat shoes-ha fee jaybit-ha' (yeah, half Arabic, half English 'Cinderella hid her shoes in her pocket')...she was really enjoying that movie and started it again in the morning though my other sister Ayah didn't want to watch it.

It's great to be young...

:)

Lateefa...it's Lateefa!

Email to myself on July 26:

hi it's me again...i'm not sure how to spell today though...from now on all the mestakes im making will just have to stay becasue im not gonna use the backspace anymore :) thi s should be quite interesting. i think. but i ionly hthingk. hsahaha. haha at my haha. :)

so yeah, i hope i do well on the test tomorrow. insha'Allah i will do well. insha'Allah i will finish all my homeowork tonight and tomorrow morning. insha'Allah, insha'Allah (tirja' liya..enshallah enshallah...habiby...ah, what's that chick's name..ummmmm...ohmigosh it's been a long night and i can't remember even tohough i love the song ohno...what if i forget everything tomorrow?...not afraid...I'll do well insha'Allah...boy this is a long parenthesis?)

so now that i look dumb writing to myself, i better post this on my blog without corrections...really! and the last one too...

:)

Love ya chica,
me ;)



Previous email to myself on July 12 (Subject: You've got mail....from yourself!?!?!?)

Hey me! How's it going? Insha'Allah I'll do well on the test tomorrow! You too!

Oh, and here's the take home portion of the test!

Me: lol...i'm so weird!

I: Am not!

Me: Are too!

I: Oh, yeah, you're right...you and me are just plain crazy!

Love me anyway,
Us

*Youth Group Jogging Effort: Fit 4 Life...Fit 4 Paradise*

I....*pant*....just.....*pant*....jogged....*pant*.....2 miles.....

:)

And I'm drenched in sweat! yuck!

:)

Now I think I am in over my head...I want out...Send a rope, drop a line, fly a rescue chopper...now WHAT?

It's a test...you gotta realize it's a test...

I just finished taking my GRE for graduate school. I don't think I did as well as I would like to have done...but I don't quite know how to decipher the numbers yet. And the funny thing is I've already started taking classes (6 hours down...many more to go) but I just had to take the test before I take the classes I want next month. Alhamdulillah the essay part was easy. I'm thinking I made a high score (insha'Allah). And I did better on the math than the verbal---funny since I'm an English teacher. But I've always done well in math. I just LOVE reading! Do you think this means I should lose my English teaching license? Nah! :) I still love reading and math is too...ummm....BLAH! Just too boring, and blah!

So yeah, I took the test. I had to drive all the way to Stillwater for an 8 a.m. test. Little sleep. Time to go home and rest....

But wait, the weather! The weather was horrible today! I thought I would hang out at the OSU campus and enjoy the summer weather. I took a book with me so I could chill out in front of the super nice pond as the ducks quacked at me and squirrels dropped parts of the tree on my head. But no! It rained like crazy! And as I tried to make it to Salatul-Juma today two roads were blocked off because of flooding and accidents. Needless to say I didn't make it. But alhamdulillah. Even though I'm complaining, I really did love the driving. Alhamdulillah.

New Journal

Got a new journal. Wrote in it last night. Wrote in it just a few minutes ago because it was in my bag. Wanna see my first REAL entry?

2:17 p.m.

Stopped by another police officer. This totally sucks!!! Don't forget the Alhamdulillah! :) I've really got to stop speeding and be a better driver I guess. It's totally my fault and now I'm even later than I was. He sure is taking his time--maybe I'm gonna get arrested or something!? Insha'Allah I won't. I've gotta be somewhere.


You'd think that I was made of money and could just pay off the officers like nothing else....but, yeah...I'm a teacher and it's summer...

I was going 63 in a 40....I'm really laughing out loud right now (and right after he wrote me a ticket for 49 in a 40)...hahahaha....I should be crying....hahahaha

I drive like a...

MANIAC!

MANIAC!

No, really. Just read my previous posts and you'll know that while I have a good time (and any passenger of mine will enjoy the constant speeding, last-minute turns, and all around illegal fun) I just don't have a great track record. And with that in mind, check out my latest scandalous endeavor in my anything-but-new car:

On Monday I was late to my spin class (indoor cycling at the Y) so I was speeding (biggest non-secret ever: I'm always late to spin class---and even if I'm not I'm still speeding). When I'm driving through the neighborhood I see a lot of birds on the road (not really a LOT, just like a litter of them scattered) just before a stop sign. I swear I can't be going more than 30 mph because I just made a turn (even with a manual car, I don't think I could possibly have gone more---okay maybe 40). Birds move out of the way right? They're smart like that, right? WRONG! WRONG!!!

Pigeons are STUPID! The stupid (though pretty) pigeon did not move. It just kept bobbing it's weightless head across the street as if my heavy car wasn't coming in it's direction. It just looked at me with it's glossy eye, almost winking at me, almost saying "I dare ya!" And so as it was just about in the center of my lane, I ran it over.

"Thump, thump" was all you could hear as the bird's head hit the cage under my car. "Oh MY GOD!" was all you could hear as my little brother and I became thoroughly disgusted in my car.

I looked out of my rear view mirror expecting to see the dead bird lying on the road. I only saw lots and lots of bird feathers slowly making their way back down to the ground after an apparent bird bomb (in true cartoon fashion). No bird lying on the ground must only mean the bird must still be under my car. As I stopped at the stop sign (a complete stop for once mind you) I tried to figure out what I should do. I can't possibly park my car at the YMCA with a dead pigeon stuck to the bottom! I mean, imagine the stinch after my workout!

Just as I'm imagining the problems I'm gonna have, I drive away from the stop sign. And to my utter amazement, the pigeon is walking AWAY! It was alive and walking away! So I may have run it over, but I didn't kill it (well, not right away anyways)!

And you thought running over a frog at night was harsh? Gee-whiz

Yippee!

I am much better, alhamdulillah!

And I was looking through the bazillion pictures on the computer and found some I wanted to post on the good ol' blog (cause I have nowhere else to put them but don't want to just delete them).

Islamic Society of Tulsa: OCCJ Teen Trialogue Series
For the last few years, IST has been the first stop on the tour that takes Tulsa teens to many different houses of worship. A project designed to help teens gain understanding and respect for other teens with different cultures and religions. The first picture is of some of the first arrivals. Below is one of my favorite pics of girls donning the headscarf (or trying to do so) while at the Masjid. Although we do not make in mandatory for visitors to wear a headscarf, we do ask that they dress modestly. However many women and girls want to attempt to 'feel' our religious culture.

Another of my favorite pics is this one of my brother and his friend leaving the Masjid after helping out with the event. A successful event at IST; it seemed the blessings of Allah came down just as the sun's rays are seen at the minaret.

Way back in April (I think) I visited Oklahoma City for a workshop. While there I noticed the city was littered with....BUFFALO!
I don't quite know why, but everywhere you go there is a large sculptured buffalo with different paint jobs (some were pretty cool---check out the UPS buffalo!).

I'm assuming that it is something like the sculptured penguins sold to benefit the zoo that we've got in Tulsa, just not anywhere near as cute.

But the coolest part about OKC was visiting Masjid An-Nasr after much needed renovation. Masha'Allah it looked awesome! Can't wait to see the finished product and spend the weekend out there for the 3rd annual Sisters Lock-In (can you believe it's been 3 years??? insha'Allah we'll be able to do it for many more--including this one!). One aspect of the new section at their Masjid that was totally grand, was the faux stained glass window created by a sister. Check it out. May Allah reward her.
(from the inside at night)
(from the outside during the day)

And now, do you remember way back when I said Nadrine and I were like this cool tree? Remember when I said that I would go take pics of it the next day? Well, I did. I just didn't post them. :) Obelisque, these are for you.
With the regular green trees all around, you can see how majestic, unique it is. It has this reddish tint but is really made of many colors when studied.

Looking from the inside out was amazing. When I went to take the pics, I climbed the tree and took pictures of leaves from the inside. SubhanAllah, this tree just holds my attention and makes me realize if one tree holds so much beauty and can be so unique, it's Creator deserves praise more than I give. SubhanAllah.


Then, of course, there are always the pics with friends that are classic. The first is Teacher Maysa (aka "The Mad Scientist" during our science fair) and I. We call this the "Crazy Teacher and Mad Scientist Engagement Photo"---brings tears to my eyes! :)

This is Sabrin and I. Sabrin is one of my best friends (cause we're weird like that). *cough* she's single *cough* she's palestinian*cough* she's cute and really nice *cough* looking for cute, good muslim palestinian husband *cough* *cough* she'd kill me if she knew I wrote this---but if you know someone ;) *cough*


P.S. You know what? It sure is fun to look at old pics and write about them. It's just a pain in the rear end to upload them! Sheesh! :)

Sick

I

Am

SO

Sick

it's

not

even

funny

my

head

hurts

my

throat

hurts

my

muscles

ache

but

i

am

going

to

be

okay

and

to

think

i

didn't

think

i'd

get

sick

ha

pic

Ironically perfect

Late to work.

Got a ticket.

Going 55 on his radar.

More like going at least 60 before I saw him and tapped the brakes.

Supposed to go only 40.

Not like anyone else does.

Not like that is a good enough excuse.

Officer wrote me a ticket for 49 in a 40.

$120 ticket.

Making me even later than I was to begin with.

Ironically perfect?

"Bad Day" played on the radio while he wrote the ticket.

I smiled and went on to enjoy a wonderfully okay day.

Regret

I hate it when I get this angry. I hate it when I get upset and it shows. To be upset is okay. To wear your feelings on your sleeve is not.

**********

I ran over a frog. I saw it hop, hop, hopping. If I looked closely, I could probably have seen it smile as it bounced on the cement in the cool evening. Instead I just saw it hop, hop, hopping. Just when I realized what it was, I felt it under my tires. If I listened closely, I could probably have heard it scream as it died on the cement in the cold of the evening.

**********

“Does the pain ever go away?” she asked, her blue eyes piercing into my soul, begging me to answer in a most satisfactory way.

I hesitated a moment. ‘Does it?’ I ask myself. And then it hit me again:

She won’t be there at my wedding…she can’t tell me it will be okay when things fall apart…she can’t give me her approval…she can’t hug me, kiss me…she can’t laugh at my silly jokes…she can’t teach me how to make her signature meals…she won’t ever see my children, her grandchildren…I won’t ever see her just because I want to…

I look at this woman in front of me, this woman who had many more years to enjoy than I did. I see the pain in her eyes, as I’m sure she can see the struggle in mine, no matter how much I try to hide it. And then I know.

“No,” I say, defeated by the words. “No, it never goes away.”

***********

I ran over a frog last night. I killed it. Somewhere in the lush, moist earth where the green grass is growing ever taller and ever thicker, there is a young frog. I hope she understands I did not mean to do it. I hope she remembers all the good times. I hope she can forgive me for her loss. I hope she can forgive her mother.

************

Out of Place

"That is such a gorgeous tree, masha'Allah!" I said pointing to the tree directly in front of us.

"SubhanAllah, it really is," replied my friend.

It was a tall, round tree. All the trees surrounding it were green, plush-looking trees. This tree was dark; the leaves were so dark they were almost black with a unique maroon tint. It looked almost out of place, yet peculiarly beautiful and mesmerizing.

"It's so different, so beautiful," I say.

"Just like us," she replies.

Just like us.

Shouting at the top of my lungs

Don't ask me to speak.

I will not speak now;
even the deaf could hear the bitterness in my voice.

Disappointment......but not despair

I'm not going to Libya this summer...I have been saving for so long. I have been dreaming for longer. But even now at 23 I've never been and only dream of going. I am not giving up though. I am going to send my Baba insha'Allah, but my dream of going this summer is crushing. I nearly cried (from the girl who never admits to crying, that's saying a lot). Every time I think about it, I just want to cry. I know that my family could not handle both of us going (Baba and I) but I was determined to go this summer. It is not simply a matter of money (I was going to pay for my Baba and I to go), it's that my brothers, sisters, and step-mom could not handle things alone with Baba and the oldest daughter so many miles away. At least I can realized it myself...I would have died if someone else had to break it to me.

I was determined to go, but Allah had other plans...and I'm realizing how impossible the dream for this year was.

I am not giving up though. I will send my father this summer, and insha'Allah I will go during the winter break. That way I will get to experience Eid there and be able to stay for a month. Insha'Allah my dream will come true and I will finally see the land my father grew up on, the family that I never knew, the culture I wish to have; I'll be able to call myself Libyan and know what it really means.

Insha'Allah...I'll keep making dua...I'll keep saving...I'll remain satisfied...insha'Allah

Silence

Some things you just can't say out loud.

"My marriage is failing," only costs you denial as your world falls apart.
"Your commitment is dying," costs you the safety of false security.
"I'm leaving," will cost you the trip as you reconsider the life.

Sometimes you just can't say things out loud.

"Forgive me...I'm sorry," will cost you face.
"I love you," seems too weak to express it as you lose your constancy.

Sometimes you just don't say things out loud

for fear of ruining it
for fear of losing it
for fear of feeling it
for fear of recognizing it
for fear of hurting others
for fear of understanding it
for fear of fear

Because sometimes it's easier to NOT say it out loud!

And the beat keeps running...

Things I've done:

• Went to a teacher workshop on reading...but have yet to successfully incorporate all of the material just yet.
• Went to an Islamic concert...and almost fell asleep as I drove home late a night.
• Lost more than 5 pounds...all because I've given up Diet Coke (I can't believe I made the concious decision to do so) and exercise nearly everyday.

Things I wish to do:

• Run 10 laps in the gym without stopping to catch my breath after every 2 laps.
• Keep up my exercise routine...it makes me feel good.
• Learn more everyday...

I just turned 23 the other day...of course you don't feel different overnight, but I know I'm older. I expect to grow and learn differently than before. I've also come the realization that I am no long in the 'youth' category. That's just weird. But then again, I'm fine with that now that I feel like more of a leader than just a follower. I've also thought about my mother (Allah yarhamha-May Allah have mercy upon her). She died at only 39...I'm more than halfway there...but then again I could die younger...Just a fleeting thought that flutters through my mind at random moments...

Alhamdulillah for my family, all my friends everywhere, my mind, my life. Alhamdulillah for everything.

Alhamdulillah

I am so drained...I enjoy traveling but it takes so much outta ya! :) Alhamdulillah I get to travel though...and alhamdulillah this time it was free :)

Things I learned on Spring Break

Driving away can be sad...
A look, a glance can display my anger...
Crying is my weakness (a weakness I am too weak to allow)...
If you can't control it, why get angry?
Some people are just plain LAZY!!!
Boys take longer getting ready than girls...
The Wudu room in Richardson is the BEST wudu room I have ever been in (I'm sure I'll devote an entire post to this soon)...
Some Muslims are rude...
Some Muslims are the nicest people you could ever wish to meet (alhamdulillah I met them)...
Traffic in Dallas is a nightmare...
When traveling with 16 people (13 high school seniors in particular) a normal 9 hour drive takes at least 15 and every 10 minute stop takes at least 1 hour...
When traveling with 16 people there is never a dull moment, alhamdulillah...

Even your voice can be dangerous...

They call me....

The Reading Bandit...



And



The Cat in the Hat!!!


Boy do we have fun!

Just Right Now

I wish I knew how to add a clip from a song...I'll figure it out sometime...but my students LOVE the song "Sakeena" by Native Deen. They actually just love hearing the little girl say "Sakeena" and then laugh it off! :) If I listened to them, I'd just play that beginning over and over and over again.

I love my kids....I love all 50+ of them...I love my job (at least right now, alhamdulillah)...ALHAMDULILLAH! (check out the pic from our last lock-in---we did this really cool rap/spoken word poem that we made up and performed----they were awesome masha'Allah!)

I am currently in love with www.muslimhiphop.com !!!!!!! Seriously awesome...why didn't I listen to the people who told me about it a long time ago???? Why????!!! (Noteworthy: Kumasi "Same Soul"---really, you SHOULD check it out. Just forward the player until you get to that song.)

:)

Muslim Wedding

A VERY good friend of mine recently got married. (May Allah make them happy and bless thier marriage. Ameen!) The bride is Palestinian and the groom is an Okie who became Muslim over 4 years ago. They didn't have it easy when they wanted to get married, but alhamdulillah their trial only made them stronger in the end.

Point of the story: The wedding was fabulous! It was a mixed wedding although we split it up in the end (the ladies like to let their hair down---:) literally---and dance it up!). I was a bride's maid (their were 7 of us) and we all walked down the aisle and did a little mix of cultures. Masha'Allah, Sana looked gorgeous. She wore a traditional white wedding dress, but she wore a hijab on top of it. All of her bridesmaids (except his non-Muslim sister) wore scarves and a short matching jacket on our dresses. I've never been to a wedding where the bride wore a scarf. As a matter of fact, I've always thought it might look tacky. But wallahi, she looked wonderful Masha'Allah. And everyone was awesome. My brother was the official "unofficial" photographer, so I have pics of everything. Unless you've been to a successful upscale truly "Islamic" wedding, you won't believe how awesome a wedding can be even when you follow the rules.

Funny thing: My dad LOVED the wedding. He did the marriage ceremony so he had to be there, otherwise he would have rather stayed home. Whenever he goes to do a wedding, he usually leaves AS SOON as he can (which means as soon as the papers are signed :). Anyway, he was SO happy that the bride wore a scarf and we were all covered and she didn't overdo her make-up and it was Islamic and and and. :) I've never seen my dad gush about a wedding like that EVER! It was cute.

Another funny thing: We played "Forever and Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis (country song) as a dedication to the bride and groom (especially for the country-loving groom). While we were eating and taking pics we played
simple Um Kulthum songs on low as background music. So me and the other bridesmaids went up to the front of the room and announced the song. You should have seen the faces of the arabs...it was funny. Most people enjoyed it, his family found it cute and we all sang along quietly as we passed out favors (okay, so maybe that is not exactly following the rules, but I LOVE that song cause it reminds me of my Grandma and I remember it from when I was a young country fan back in the day). We did get some comments---"What is THIS???" but it didn't matter at that point.

how i really feel

Had a dream that we had to have an electrician come to the school (repair men are generally always here these days---so not too far fetched). Well, after they did some work they came to say that they had messed up (it seems like it was three people---one was a woman) and that we would not have electricity for three days until they could fix it. It would take 3 days because the parts they needed would have to be shipped and they were booked for the next two days. I was really mad and started arguing about how it was inconvenient for us and since it was their fault they should fix it NOW. But Principal was trying to calm me down telling me it was okay. The lady also told me that the heaters and the lights would work though all other electricity would be out. I looked up at the lights and then wanted to argue some more but backed away because it wasn't my battle to fight. I was just the little guy with big opinions...

should be doing something else

Started walking afterschool with my friend...it's a good workout (for someone who doesn't). And it gives us a chance to dedicate some time to each other nearly every day. Plus it's an added bonus that when walking around the school and Masjid I don't have to pay for my workout. :)

I'm wearing a purple outfit today....it makes me happy...all the teachers (the girly ones especially) comment on how much they love my purple outfit...and I like telling everyone I got my ultra-cool purple scarf from hijabs-r-us.com. I've got this awesome poem about a muslim woman in hijab...it's a downer though. I'll post it someday.

Purple People Eaters (so are they purple people who eat--- OR --- purple beings who eat people--- OR --- beings that eat only purple people???)

Blah....

It is not your job to make my life a living hell............

SO WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTE: Today is not the day to ask me about job satisfaction. But at least I can laugh about it. :)

EXTRA NOTE: I've been singing "Hero" all day thanks to a fellow blogger....So I'm trying to get over my unhappiness.... :) whatever dude....

SUPER TEACHER NOTE: I feel better now. Alhamdulillah

Just thought I would say hi....
so...ummmmm.... hi blog of mine!

:)

I really wanted to write something of importance, but I forgot what it was. Don't have time right now anyways....

la di da....la di da...la di da

SPAM: Just say no!

I've been getting a lot of unwanted emails lately (mostly from friends kind enough to forward me jokes and images that have already been forwarded to me by their friends---such wonderful people). But when someone sends you a picture of a ONE EYED CAT???? Well, I only have one thing to say:

WHY? WHY? WHY?

:)

Vacation

Just because I was unable to post doesn't mean I didn't write....

Truly

Shall I lie to you
As I lie to myself?
Shall I tell you how
I think and feel
When I keep such
Info from myself?

Shall I caress your hand
And tell you it will
Be okay
When I deny myself
The touch of gentleness
And the comfort
Of reassuring words?

Shall I give you
Of my heart
When it is already
Torn and bleeding?

Shall I seek your forgiveness
And tell you secrets once more
When I would not do the same
In your shoes?

I shall humble myself
Before my dear Lord
And ask His forgiveness
And to ensure me yours.

Maybe then I shall give
And you can freely take
Of the shattered soul
I only now break.

Maybe then I shall breath
A sigh of relief
To see your face
And greet
You with a smile
Of honesty, not disgrace.

Maybe then you will see
How hurt I became
Before forgiveness came.

Maybe then you will know
What I said before
Was no lie
And the words will flow
Evermore
Though silent may be the room.

Maybe then I will not lie
To myself
Nor to you.

December 22, 2005
9:20 p.m.

Allah

Drops like tears
Into an ocean
Of ink
Though not enough
To write the words
That would justify
Any of this

Stand in the desert
Alone
With no one near
Though not solitaire enough
To express the Oneness
That explains
All of this

Walk the terrain
Of endless mountains
Of majesty
Though not enough beauty
To convey the Magnificence
That could compare to
All of His

December 22, 2005
9:30 p.m.

Allah Pt. II

There is inside of me
Something that is touched by
The strike of a piano’s key
The pluck of a harp’s cord
The strum of a guitar’s string
The hum of a violin
The beat of a drum
The delight of a voice
Singing in praise
Of Him and Love of Him
In devotion

And no matter the beat
No matter the sound
No matter how bad, how good
No matter that I know not the words
No matter the language, foreign beauty
The cry of the voice
For the Unknown, the All-Knowing

The sincerity
The purity
The genuine intensity
The fear
The love
The joy

Oh to feel that joy
To sing that song
To collaborate alone
With the best of efforts
No matter how bad the tune
You would not care
For I sing for You
And to You
And ask of You
And praise You

I am dizzy in my efforts
I am dizzy in my fear
I am dizzy for I love You
And I am dizzy for I do not praise You enough
I am dizzy and the world spins around me
I am dizzy and I grow tired
I am dizzy for I know You
I am dizzy and the world revolves
I am dizzy and I feel You
I am dizzy and You catch me with Your Words

I fall
Now I can stand tall.

9:40 p.m. December 22, 2005

I truly find myself
Revolving

For what

Is it just that I am sick and the world is shaky

Is it just that I am lost and cannot find my way

Is it just that I have danced in circles around the answer

Is it that I am going mad and have lost touch with reality

I truly find myself
Revolving

Around a question of sanity

Of dignity

Of sincerity

Of devotion

Of promotion

Like a broken record

Of lies and empty imaginings

I truly find myself
Revolving

In tight circles

Threatening to tighten around my throat

Threatening to steal my voice
Threatening to take me under
Threatening to capture of what I love


I truly find myself
Revolving

Yet going nowhere

I am sick

Of revolving

I stand

I sit

I fall
I cry

Only just inside

Oh, you're fine?

And me?

I'm just hollow.