Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Not quite a kilt.

I need to clarify a few things:

I did go out to meet a guy.

I did meet him on an online dating site.

The guy wore a skirt to this "date" for coffee.

There is a fantastic story here.

It makes everyone laugh.

I just don't feel like sharing now.

Wait for it. It's a great story.


I don’t know. I guess I thought it would make me feel better about myself in the end. Maybe I just thought about the story. Or I assumed it wouldn’t hurt.

It did.

And now I’m nursing a faux broken heart from a pseudo date.

No, it wasn’t the dude in the skirt. It was the one in the hummer. Yeah, the freakin’ hummer.

So what’s a girl to do? I can’t live like this. I can’t go on without any hope or prospects. I don’t want to change. There are a billion people out there. Surely I’ll find what I’m looking for.

And is it too much to ask that he be Muslim?

And maybe educated?

And speak English?

Okay, so now I’m being stupid. Now I feel like I am whining. I am, but it’s okay. I mean, I didn’t love him. How could I love him? I only met him once and the games were for fun. So why does it hurt?

I feel a bit numb. I feel like my head is spinning and I am not sure what to do. Well, I know what I want to do. I also know what I have to do.

“I’m sorry. I can’t go out with you because I like you. And you’re not Muslim. And I don’t play games. I’m really sorry.”

For me, I am sorry.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Day of Firsts

I want to do another day of firsts on the eleventh of January (1-11-11, see?). I am super excited! Here are my goals:

1. Get at least one person to play with me who has never played before (a first, you see).
2. Possibly make it my first skip day of the year (school year and calendar year).
3. Go out on a first date sometime that day. (Hey, now. Don't judge me. I'm just ready to get out there already and meet someone.)
4. Play something I've never played.
5. Possibly eat something I've never eaten before (this is almost a must for a day of firsts).
6. Visit at least three places I've never been.
7. Possibly turn this into some kind of timed tournament of sorts. (Anyone interested in forming teams?)

I recently played a modified version of day of firsts with a friend of mine and we had a blast. We had to make points throughout the day (for instance, each new experience was five points) doing all sorts of things. Our goal was to make 150 points. We made well over 160. Yay for us! :) Can't wait to do this again? Now, who will join me? Hmmmm....

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Online dating

January brings with it the end of
one online dating venture
and the beginning of a new one.
This will be interesting.
It already is.

Now I have a question that I would
like answered: Are there
no more good men who actually
speak English and live in
my country anymore? It
seems like all my "hits" have
been men who cannot communicate
or don't live in the States
or can't live in the States
(the last one has to go
back for two years per his
contract, but would I mind
moving to Yemen to be with him,
the man I hardly know and have
never actually met?)
or don't pray
or drink (but only socially)
or use colorful language like
bright M&M candies.
I am not ranting. I am
simply wondering.
Surely there is someone
like me out there who
might actually like me,
right? Surely someone wouldn't
mind living in Oklahoma
(at least for three years)
in a house owned by me
(with a swimming pool).
And is it too much to ask
that they speak the same
language as me? At least

Thank you for your time.
It was so good to chat.
I enjoyed it.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

The Year in Blurbs (freehand)

December 25, 2010
7:10 p.m.

2010 was the year of
online dating
a new blog
beginning of the end of hope

2010 brought with it
a new home
for half off
and a new TV

2010 was the year of the
nose ring
and the year a
friend lost her ring
(only to find it in
someone else's bed)

2010 gave me
tears and heartache
for a friend
and uncle

2010 was the year
I didn't get married
and the year
she didn't have her baby

2010 was the summer
of broken promises
and loss of innocence

2010 belongs to
Saleem, winter dreams
and Matt, summer romance
and other internet flings
ending in dings

2010 was lonely
2010 was also hopeful

2010 warranted the return
of brotherly love
and completing the unit

2010 gave another road trip
and lush-ious reasons
to be joyful

2010 was the year of
hugging shoe

2010 was the year I went
into the tunnel and
was enveloped in darkness

2010 was the year of commitment
to my book

2010 is the year I made
my first fire in a
fireplace of my own

2010 was yellow and green

2010 was the year of the
Indian summer

2010 gave me a glimpse of
what a true eclipse is

2010 was the year I had
an accident that
ended well

2010 is the year I bought
a dead man's bed

2010 is the year my father
wept for the unwed me

2010 is the year I
felt reckless

2010 is also the year
of confessions

2010 is the year a cut
sounded crazy good
again but only in jest

2010 was the year of loss
but not total

2010 is the year I am glad
to see gone

2010 is the year I hurt my
knee unknowingly

2010 was when a flame burst
forth from what we all
thought was ash

2010 was the year of
disappointing chess moves

2010 was the year I lost
touch with a friend
It's also the year I tried
to get it back

2010 is when I realized I
knew how to play
the game

2010 is the year I realized
I've also lost my youth

2010 is the year I've learned
that it is ironic that one
you have experience, you
can no longer make the
same mistakes, that
knowing what I now know,
I cannot remedy the
past mistakes

2010 was the year that the
me of today did things so
the me of tomorrow wouldn't
have to

2010 was the year work really
began to hurt

2010 was the year of remediation
and lack of meditation

2010 was the year of the
test and retest

2010 was the year of Zain
(both of them)

2010 was Dallas, St. Louis,
Kansas City, Chicago,
D.C., and Los Angeles

2010 was beach time and
Jay Leno

2010 was Glee and Grey

2010 was sunshine and
a dash in sleds

2010 was bridge mending
and burning

2010 was the year of girls
day renewed with polish
and movies and cheesecake

2010 was the year of love
for book of unfaltering
goodness and evil

2010 was the year of purging
and splurging

2010 was the year of the
first teacher prom

2010 was the year of
righteous wrongness

2010 gave me a good few weeks
of desolate isolation

2010 was the year I
kept a secret--
and wished I could've
kept it even from me

2010 was the year of
skin dipping,
chocolatey goodness

2010 was the year the divide
grew on

2010 is the year of yearning
and flirting with emptiness

2010 was the year of bike
riding and a new passion

2010 was the year of the iphone
and a larger bill

2010 was the year of tank tops
and new jeans

2010 was the year of strength

2010 was the year of firsts,
twice over

2010 was the year of netflix
and gmail

2010 was the year of green balloons
and gold ribbon and lights
and help from good friends

2010 was the year of engagement
parties and weddings for
fun and work

2010 was the year of absolving

2010 was the year deemed
"over my dead body"

2010 was the year of half our deen
and eharmony and misterandmisses and,
if she'd had her way, Shaadi too

2010 was the year of #2's--
husbands and children

2010 was the birth of water
and the death of pop

2010 was the year of Georgetown
and seniors

2010 was the year of bagel
sandwiches and OKC

2010 was the year of Sarah and Yasmo

2010 was the year of looking in
and other Masjid funness

2010 was Laylatul Qadr
at the Masjid by accident

2010 was IHOP and little brothers

2010 was haunted houses
and ripped flip flops

2010 was mystery men
and canopies

2010 was HeyTell and
iPray and iQuran

2010 was t-shirts--lots
and lots of t-shirts

2010 was two more classes
of future teachers

2010 was phone calls and

2010 was Alaskan money

2010 was lock-ins and a hopeful

2010 meant remembering the
leave and cold heaters

2010 was an opening of a
gashing wound I am
constantly trying to heal

2010 brought new shop
and bonding for them

2010 was rats and roaches

2010 was a rekindling of
writing on all surfaces-
napkins, journals,
ticket, receipts, old
agendas, schedules, hands
and jeans

2010 was a broken laptop
(or was that 2009?)

2010 was Obama and
Brittney and Madonna

2010 was the year of discontent
with fast food nothingness

2010 was wheat thins, sandwiches
and chocolate fountains

2010 was remembering how
to almost fall in love

2010 was.

8:08ish (phone dead, lights out)