I'm not going to Libya this summer...I have been saving for so long. I have been dreaming for longer. But even now at 23 I've never been and only dream of going. I am not giving up though. I am going to send my Baba insha'Allah, but my dream of going this summer is crushing. I nearly cried (from the girl who never admits to crying, that's saying a lot). Every time I think about it, I just want to cry. I know that my family could not handle both of us going (Baba and I) but I was determined to go this summer. It is not simply a matter of money (I was going to pay for my Baba and I to go), it's that my brothers, sisters, and step-mom could not handle things alone with Baba and the oldest daughter so many miles away. At least I can realized it myself...I would have died if someone else had to break it to me.
I was determined to go, but Allah had other plans...and I'm realizing how impossible the dream for this year was.
I am not giving up though. I will send my father this summer, and insha'Allah I will go during the winter break. That way I will get to experience Eid there and be able to stay for a month. Insha'Allah my dream will come true and I will finally see the land my father grew up on, the family that I never knew, the culture I wish to have; I'll be able to call myself Libyan and know what it really means.
Insha'Allah...I'll keep making dua...I'll keep saving...I'll remain satisfied...insha'Allah
5 comments:
Just as you desire then now, you will desire now then.
- Amir Sulaiman
Sudan? That's quite interesting actually...I was watching a Sudanese Musalsal on TV and I didn't understand anything they were saying. It was pretty cool...and the guy was a lazy bum (I could understand that despite the language barrier) so I totally get the pockets on both sides of the thobe thing. :)
You know that was totally random...interesting, but random...much appreciated actually
:-)
Oh and brother Amus: thanks for the reminder. SubhanAllah it always holds true. We all seem to need that reminder...
Hey c'mon people, don't make fun of people from Sudan now...
I’m out to fight the devil but never fought myself
Read a thousand books but never read myself
My souls starving it needs to be fed lord I need your help
Hell with the devil my biggest enemy’s myself
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