Saturday, March 22, 2008

Pissed off

I've been angry with my brother for some time now. When he said, "All you ever say is 'That's a stupid idea,'" I almost smacked him. Are you freakin' kidding me? Yeah, that idea you had of doing things without consulting the parents was stupid. Sorry, I couldn't lie. But are you seriously going to pretend like: a) you invite me along very often. b) I don't try my best to be 'normal' when chaperoning the two of you immature children. c) I didn't try to help you out by inviting you along to do things in a group or coming up with ways to 'get to know each other.'

I'm only mad right now because of other things. I can't believe he's such a pushover and easily swayed. I feel a bit sad for him and I guess I feel sad for me. We are losing him. It's not like he'll be gone, but it's clear he's not here. Yeah, it sucks.

I guess I'm just mad right now and only for the right now. I will get over it. It will be forgotten years down the road, insha'Allah. But for the right now, I don't want to just let it go but I don't want to make a big deal out if it either. I know that I'll have to talk to him about it again and again, but it'll be worth it in the end.

When I stop being mad at him, maybe I could talk to him again.

Not tonight though. He left before I came back. Not seconds after he walked out, he forgot our plans. Then, after texting, he cancelled them altogether. Not that I was really fooled into thinking we'd do something together again. No, I'm not that naive.

Maybe I won't stop being mad for being left.

So when I have the power of my full reason once more, I will talk to him.

(Salah, just in case he talks to you more than me-which is likely-, don't mention this please.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I really don't know what is going on with your brother, he hasn't talked to me in some time. I tought he was mad at me for some reason. So don't feel so bad.