Why keep some aspects of a culture and lose others? I am amazed that the people in that large Palestinian community kept dancing WITH a man taboo but wearing short dresses with cleavage exposed OKAY. It is weird to me. A culture where dancing (albeit men by themselves and women by themselves, though in front of the others) is okay but people don't date is extremely interesting. I am confused by the choices they made in what they keep and what they don't. Although dancing is one of the most shocking cultural differences I've noticed at these weddings in Chi-town, it is the marriage itself that is most interest.
Maybe because I am grappling with the issue of marriage or maybe because I have my own issues with the process in our community, I am in awe of the way, much like that of 'back home', that these second and third generation Palestinians have kept. (I am sure that it is not just the Palestinians in this community that have kept this tradition, but I can only draw my conclusions based upon this particular community since I have only observed Palestinian weddings when in Chicago.) Choosing a spouse is still a family project. Parents make suggestions of potential spouses. Young men go to the girl's house and formally ask. Kids who grew up together may not always know that a suitor is interested because they are 'friends' and acquaintances. These matches seem to work out well in this community, and I have no quarrels with such an unspoken arrangement. However, in a culture that so closely lives among the American fragmented culture of 'independence' from parents at 18 and sexual activity before love, commitment, or marriage, I find it remarkable that this aspect of a 'foreign' culture remains among an actively 'American' generation.
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