COLD

It's like the wind was knocked out of me.

AGAIN.

I could hardly breath. I didn't know whether to smile or resume my normal stance. Should I smile, reply? Should I let him hug me though I am so angry I could spit in his face? Should I look him in the eye and tell him how I feel now?

No.

Instead, when he gave me that have hug with his hand on my side, I could barely look at him. I was there in a crowd of people and I barely looked at him. I let him hug me. I let him say salams to me. I gave him a brownie and then let him walk away from me.

I stood there talking to people, selling the rest of the cookies and brownies and pizza. I talked to people casually. But my mind was with him. He shook the ground beneath me. His presence sent me somewhere else. The tears nearly gave it all away. But I can't be so clear in front of so many. Instead, I just stood there and let the world pass by as I gasped for breath.

My brother broke my heart, my trust, my love. However, I'm the one suffering.

I let him walk away. AGAIN.