As the world turns...

The beginning:

I quit my job. I turned around and walked out of the door, forward to new thresholds, new experiences. I decided to move on. Bitter I don't want to be. Clear hatred I never to emit. Despise I never want to do. So I had to leave. Sometimes you have to leave in order to move forward. I felt that I had to walk away in order to ever walk back in. I haven't left them in the dust. I haven't left them alone. But they just won't see me everyday. Maybe it's a good thing. Last year was the worst year I've ever had. This is my year of sorrow...it hasn't really stopped yet, though I'm momentarily happy. Alhamdulillah for everything.

Friday:

On the bus with fifty kids on the way to our summer school field trip, my phone rang, I didn't recognize the number so I thought it was a parent. It wasn't: Union HS, interview, Monday morning.
Thirty minutes later I recieved a second phone call: Broken Arrow offered me a job teaching junior and senior ELL (English language learners) English classes. I didn't really want this job. At the second interview, the lady (principal maybe?) answered all the questions for me. Yeah, super annoying! I kept checking my watch wondering if I could just let her finish the interview for me! :) I tentatively accepted, feeling deceptive all the while.

Monday:

Interview went well. After spending an entire weekend with about sixty girls at the Masjid in OKC, I was finally asleep in my own bed. How comfy it was, I almost didn't get up. I rolled out of bed, put any decent thing I could find on and went on to my interview thinking that I didn't care whether or not I got it; sleep deprivation will do that to ya. I made dua anyway.

The interview was awesome, alhamdulillah. I liked the panel that interviewed me. I was at ease (well, I generally am, confidence is not usually lacking). I spoke with passion (I almost can't help it when I talk about teaching). I was honest. I told them BA waited for my response. I asked to be told one way or the other ASAP. With many interviews later that day, they'd probably call early in the morning.

Two hours later I landed the job. Alhamdulillah.

Now:

Peace will always be in my heart, on my mind, and part of my being. I have yet to give it up completely. Everything I can supply from my new post, I shall.

Meanwhile, my education must grow. My experiences must blossom. I must become better at being everything I want. It's all in my grasp now, insha'Allah. I just have to take it all. I am excited. I am deeply saddened. I can't explain it all. Too many things all at once have successfully weighed me down. Alhamdulillah for a job at least. Now I can go to school (THEY PAY $75 A SEMESTER HOUR!!!!!!! :) and finish everything I want, insha'Allah.

Future:

I have a plan. I'm putting it into action. I can't explain now. I will. Just better when somethings have already been accomplished insha'Allah.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah!

REALITY CHECK: I am happy to have a job. I HAVE A JOB!!! ALHAMDULILLAH :)