Pieces of dreams

I keep having the weirdest dreams.

Sometimes my brother is in my dream. I can't stop dreaming about him. I've had dreams about him for a while. Only now do they make sense. Only now are they my actual fears.

Sometimes my dreams are about other people who have hurt me. I remember why I loved/liked them at one point. But the feeling of hurt returns after a moment. Maybe it's a sign to stay clear of them.

Sometimes my dreams are just the things I fear. Sometimes it's what I wish wouldn't happen, but will happen anyway. I'm not totally without hope. I live on. But I know my dreams have changed, reality hit hard.

***

I sat with him in the car. He was married. I was momentarily happy. I quickly filled with emptiness. I remember I nearly hate him. I remember why. I am momentarily happy.

***

There was alcohol in the backseat. Dark glass beer bottles. He shrugs. No big deal. Not really for him. For the other guy. What can you do?

Something else in the bag bothers me. I don't remember what it is. I remember it was in a large clear bottle. Maybe plastic. It made me furious. What can I do?

***

I ran away. I didn't tell anyone. I took a flight out of town. I would have enjoyed it if my conscience had not made me feel bad. It was so realistic. Doing something drastic; regretting it mildly.

***

***

***

I have resolved myselft to a life of sadness, though filled with moments of happiness. I know.