Guess what!

I am engaged!!! Alhamdulillah, I met the man of my dreams. I know you are dying to hear the details, but you're going to have to wait just a little longer. I will share them soon. I love you, Basem! <3

(Sometime in early 2012. In my classroom. As a writing exercise I did while my students did theirs.) I remember I Love Lucy in the background. Sleeping on the floor of the living room. But little else. Except when the door closed and I sat alone. Alone except for my mother. I know she had crystal blue eyes and ravishing red hair, but I don't really remember. Through tears, my aunt, who even in my fourteen year-old memory is shorter than me, ushers me into my room to have a final meeting. I'm to tell her "it's okay" and that "I'll be alright." At fourteen I am to say goodbye and make the passing a little easier for my mother. It seemed ludicrous to think that a woman in a coma was waiting for the okay to move on. But that's the twenty-eight year old me scoffing the past. The fourteen year old me, in that room, on that day, surrounded by family urgings and the sacriligious spiritual murmurings of the unreligious could almost believe anything. And so I sat. In my memory the room is not my room and the woman is not my mother and I am not me. In my memory I am preoccupied with a boy and life and love, not death. The room smells stale and remains lifeless, except the sharp draws of breath on the bed.

My life was a short story. It included frogs and fear. It included tears and happiness. It was a vacuum and water.

My life is now a novel. A novel whose writer is terminally ill. One can never be sure the ending will be written.

My life will be ambiguous.

(g)OLD

I slept for nearly ten hours last night! I didn't realize I was THAT tired. I've been on this new exercise swing. I have worked out for nearly an hour EVERYDAY for the last fifteen days. I guess my body decided that it was enough! :) When I went to sleep last night, I meant to wake up at 5:30 to hit the gym, but I just couldn't do it. I feel old...and a little like gold! :)

Sunday night, yo.

I had an idea for my blog the other day.

I have since forgotten it. Oh well.

***

Okay, so as most of you know (you being the four folks who read my blog---even if two of you are accidental visitors), I'm still searching for the special someone to make my life complete (yadda, yadda, blah, blah...you know how I feel about this kinda stuff). I reopened two of my online profiles again (cause meeting a guy in a skirt for coffee is enough to make you go back again and again). Nothing has happened, but I am not opposed to trying. I will try my best to post about these adventures more regularly. Especially if a skirt is involved! :)

On another note (well, same note, different song), I am not quite sure I am ready. Scratch that. I am not sure I am serious enough. I am really looking, but maybe I'm not REALLy looking. Right, that makes no sense. To you. To me, it's perfectly logical. You see, I am somewhat absorbed with the thoughts of one guy. But said guy isn't really for me. But I can't stop thinking about said guy. Yeah, dumb. Stupid girl feelings.

Moving on, let me mention that I also had the opportunity to meet one of my first crushes after a few years. We had coffee. It was fun. It also brought back a lot of memories I had repressed (for good reason, apparently). I could totally fall for him again. But I won't. Mostly because I like where I am and not exactly where he is at the moment. And secondly, because I'm not fourteen anymore.

Insert witty transition here, I've been exercising like crazy lately. Every single day. I hear you are supposed to give your body a day to rest. Psshhh. Rest is for the weak. Or something like that. I've got a biggest loser contest to win! Hecks yeah! $400 in my pocket?! Yeah, I can do almost anything for two months for $400. Well, almost anything.

Speaking of doing something, I fed the homeless on Christmas day. It's a great story that involves downtown Houston, leftover steak dinners at the Hilton, and sneaking around rules (I love breaking dumb rules!). I'll write about it next. Tomorrow. I promise.

Peace out, yo!