perplexing

someone called me last night
and asked me out
well, kind of
sort of
maybe?

don't really know who he is
but made a plan
well, i guess
somewhat
maybe?

this has never really happened
but i was sleeping
sort of

i was ambiguous, as i usually am
when i don't know what
to do really

don't really know if i want to meet him
though i'd promised myself
i'd actually give guys a try
this year, rather than
just putting them
down after a
minute

on the other hand, can't really imagine
myself telling my dad, or mom
for that matter, about the
random phone call or
the weirdness
of it all

i could be wrong though
maybe he just needs help with homework
or something like that

as a matter of fact, i really almost
asked if that is what it's about
but i don't think i'm naive
enough to think that
or stupid enough
to go alone

i could still be wrong though

helping someone with their english
homework is what i do best
i think

the conversation on the phone
only lasted a minute and a half
and i was in bed almost asleep
when my phone rang, vibrated really,
under my pillow
it was a random number,
and since i've been getting
random calls from random numbers,
people leaving weird messages
or not responding when i answer,
i decided to try it again
and then i was confused
i couldn't think of a way to weasel
out of the situation,
something i am usually very good at,
and just sort of left it at
"can you call me tomorrow"
i almost thought it didn't happen
i mean, it could have
all been in my head
right?

wait a minute though
maybe
just maybe
he'll pay for dinner
instead of me paying
for it all,
that can only happen
to a girl once,
right?

Happiness is…

scattered showers right after a sun storm
finishing a good book in less than three days
jogging a mile with a cool river’s breeze on my back
admitting an unreciprocated love despite the complications
singing with all your soul even when your voice is unpleasant
dancing in a closet to your own peppy beat
leftover pieces of birthday cake
a pink scarf on a black day
a green-yellow banana
big Gerber daisies
fluffy clouds
a baby
visiting friends
praying for the best
asking for forgiveness
skipping with the sisters
a comment you leave on my blog
a smile in a face, a glimmer in an eye
gum that last longer than twenty minutes
whipped cream in a warm mug of hot cocoa
this conversation I’m having with you in my head
not the loss of a hint of sadness in my tone
being asked to be a friend’s bridesmaid
every single hope and prayer left in me
every thought of her that still flutters
pictures both in mind & on shelf
applying your own nail polish
absolutely perfect highlights
strong and somewhat scary
a great finished product
a stunning red dress
the best flat shoes
a pedicure
writing





The journey towards finding happiness will never quite end...nor could these thoughts ever be quite complete.

Clairvoyance

Recently, it had been the
Compounding desire for
Unmediated
Tradition.

It had been the
Crushing hope of
Not-quite
Beauty.

Soon, it will be the
Losing interests of the
Hopelessly
Shattered.

It will be the
Quiet means of ending
Internal
Turmoil.

Currently, it is the deep
Profound feeling of
Romantic
Melancholy.

It is the unexpected
Rise of hopes and
Unwanted
Pressures.

What are friends for?

http://harolds-planet.blogspot.com/2008/12/always-take-hug-along-with-you-you-just.html

Going Under

I thought that maybe
--just maybe--
if I learned to loathe
-- really hate--
then I'd know how to live
--seriously live--
but instead I've become ill
--honestly sick--
and malevelent where I once
--too long ago--
cared in spite of reason and hope
--alone and lost--

So now I drown myself
--too quickly--
in an ocean of strong words
--dark, cold words--
but the stars among the darkness
--resolute and discerning--
feeling the earthquake below
--tenderness cracking--
has left me on the shores
--among the sharp rocks--
for words cannot kill
--only injure--