ramblings in the night

I watched a movie about a 39 year old teacher who wants to have a baby. It was a decent movie: irony, love, great actors. When it was over, I spoke truths out of my window. I made contradictory statements and declared uncertainties. I laughed at my foolishness and pride. I found fault with my past and flaws in my person. I said all this aloud. I looked at the moon and said it all so she could hear. I spoke to God, I think, but I wanted the moon to hear, for God already knows. I looked out at the moon and realized that in the great grand scheme of things, very little of what I say or feel matters. In the great grand scheme of things, my miniscule problems are nothing. I am nothing to the moon, yet I wanted her to hear my frustrations.

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My foot started bothering me midday Thursday. I walked on it anyway. I made myself walk three miles on it anyway. I made myself jog on it anyway. Now it's swolen anyway. But just a little anyway. Maybe if I jog more it will heal, at least better than otherwise anyway.

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going out alone isn't all it's cracked up to be

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I almost dropped my phone into the river. It fell out of my hand the moment I tried to secure it just as I was beginning to jog on a semi-swollen ankle. It was the same spot where I thought to myself, "Gee, it sure would suck if I dropped my phone here." Just the day before I visualized dropping it.

When it fell, the back detaching itself and the two pieces that are my phone sliding just to the edge, I paused long enough to pick it up and reattach before jogging across, the water lapping loudly below.