I miss writing.

What needs recording? My thoughts? My emotions? My actions?

I think about too many things at once. I think my mind is too full of crap. I think of people. I think of events. I think of what I want to do. I think of what I did. I think of what I didn't do. I think of the hims in my life. I think about the girls. I think about writing (though I rarely make time to do it). I think about the deep blue ocean (though I have yet to see it). I think about the green, green grass (though I have yet to feel it beneath my toes this season). I think about you (yeah, you). I think about me (okay, I think about me a lot). I think of random thoughts. I think therefore my brain works. I think therefore I am...weird.

I feel like shooting myself when kids don't know how to read the freaking handout I gave them. I feel lonely. I felt happiness when telling her about school and my "kids." I feel desperation creeping up through every pore; school should be over already. I feel like yelling and crying and running around with a jump rope (all at the same time?). I feel like kissing and telling. I feel like dancing (always do). I feel like running ten laps around the gym. I feel like completing another 5k. I feel like hugging and laughing. I feel like throwing the ball as hard as I can. I feel like skipping in the hallway and pushing hair off foreheads. I feel like gazing at the stars (so like eyes they capture souls). I feel like my heart just might burst with packing beans. I feel like laughing at such a crazy visual. I feel like holding hands and silence. I feel like love. I feel hate. I feel therefore I hurt. I feel therefore I forget and turn away.

I ran 5k. I listened to music. I threw the balls. I hit him back. I laughed inside. I dreamt in black and white with a sprinkle of color. I chat. I spat (not really). I fat (doesn't really make sense). I rocked the scene with blue eyeshadow. I cracked up the spot with hot pink lipstick. I walked. I ran. I sang in my head. I cried (yeah, right). I grazed the hand of time with the feather on the back of my cap (Yankee Doodle style). I rocked the tie dye. I worked the event. I made money. I want more. I'll get what I can and forget the rest of the world.

I think...I feel.....I did....

*nothing