So I get myself into these situations. I almost do it in such a way that makes me think I didn't mean to. But then I think about it and realize maybe I did. And then I think some more and make a promise not to do it again. That's precisely the time I forget about it and do it anyway.

And then I try to find a way back out. It's like trying to find a way out of the mall. Just when you're on your way out, something catches your eye and you can't help but go check it out. That's when you realize you left your purse in the car and you're broke besides.

Circumlocution: Talking in circles, never just saying what you mean.

I don't mean it. I just can't say it. I've been explaining it all day but now I'm really fearing it. I mean, could I really do something like that? Where exactly does this all take me? Am I leading myself downhill or underground?

Poison. I always write it as my poison. Can a 'he' be poison? Maybe it is just me. I am the poison and the temptation and the greed and the evil deeds of this world. That makes more sense that blaming everyone else.

I want to date. I don't believe in dating necessarily. I want to date. Just a cup of Joe. I don't drink coffee. Just a discussion on what-have-you and what-have-you-not. I don't want idle talk. Just a break from reality. I'd rather keep it real. Just a smile and a sigh. I sigh too much as it is. I want to date but I don't believe in it.

Paradox: one having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases.

I am not a pair o' ducks. Just rational in a most irrational way. Just sincere in a most pretentious way. Just kamlah in a most fragmented way.