dreams or nightmares

Last night I dreamed of twins. There is only so much I can remember. From that I shall compile a list. From that I shall speak the truth.

They were twins. I think they were both girls.
They were not mine, though I loved them and took care of them. They were beautiful.
In the dream I knew their names. In the dream I forgot their names. In the dream I last remember trying to remember their names and saying they sounded like "Laziza."
In the dream I think I was happy.
In the dream I remember some weird things. I think I was trying to run from someone, but I don't know who it was.
There was somethng weird about the house. I don't remember what. Stairs were involved; the house seems to be high up.
The dream left me feeling....not weird, not hollow, but not dreamlike happy. It was just like life on a normal day. I don't really know if it was a dream or a nightmare. I think there were things about it that seemed to make me scared, but there were things about it that made me feel somewhat happy as well, I think. I couldn't tell you what. If I did, I'd be lying and the last thing I'd want to do is lie about my dreams. Too personal.

Twins. I know I'm changing. I know. I know that desire is beginning to awaken (or reawaken?). I know it. I'm repressing, but I know it. I seem to hide it as I hide the tears I never cry or the sadness I never feel or even the happiness I never experience.

Twins. They were beautiful twins. I held them in my arms. I laughed with them. I think I cried too. But they were so like mine. And they were real.

Twins. I can't tell you their names. I can't tell you what color hair they had (light colored?) or what colored eyes (brown?) or what their names are (Azizah?). But oh, they had chubby rose-colored cheeks you can't help but pinch. They were happy babies. They were somehow my babies. They were twins.

Twins. Last night I dreamt of twins. It wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a dream. It was twins. Twins!