It's not a normal attraction.

Or maybe it is.

It's not solely
about physical attraction.

I just want to be
protected by him.

Don't tell me what to do...

Don't tell me what to do.
Who do you think you are?
You are not my father.
You are not my friend.
You are not even my lover.
You are a potential (and no longer that).


I cannot stand it when a guy says he wants his wife to stay at home. I mean, it's all fine and dandy....for someone else. I have a job (one a bit better than yours) and it's a good job (working with kids and all). How can you want a partnership, a relationship, if all you want to do is tell ME what to do?

I know, I'm being lame. I probably won't even want to work. But I am too independent to let someone tell me I can't.

Or maybe I need to fall in love first. Maybe I have to really (and I mean REALLY) like the guy to let him tell me what he wants in life without taking offense. Maybe that's the key. Maybe it's too soon to let him be honest. Maybe honesty should come later?

What am I talking about? I abhor games! I don't like to mess around with feelings if the basics aren't even taken care of.

Then again, I don't want to follow the rules anymore.

Screw the rules. Let's see how far this takes me.

Just this far. I can't really break all the rules. Though I wouldn't mind breaking a few. Okay, so maybe I already break a few here and there. Okay, so maybe I have done some things that were breaking the rules only to unbreak the rules and then feel all crappy. Okay, breaking the rules isn't win-win.

But then again, neither is this.

Man, I have missed you blog. :)

Not quite a kilt.

I need to clarify a few things:

I did go out to meet a guy.

I did meet him on an online dating site.

The guy wore a skirt to this "date" for coffee.

There is a fantastic story here.

It makes everyone laugh.

I just don't feel like sharing now.

Wait for it. It's a great story.

MATCH

I don’t know. I guess I thought it would make me feel better about myself in the end. Maybe I just thought about the story. Or I assumed it wouldn’t hurt.

It did.

And now I’m nursing a faux broken heart from a pseudo date.

No, it wasn’t the dude in the skirt. It was the one in the hummer. Yeah, the freakin’ hummer.

So what’s a girl to do? I can’t live like this. I can’t go on without any hope or prospects. I don’t want to change. There are a billion people out there. Surely I’ll find what I’m looking for.

And is it too much to ask that he be Muslim?

And maybe educated?

And speak English?

Okay, so now I’m being stupid. Now I feel like I am whining. I am, but it’s okay. I mean, I didn’t love him. How could I love him? I only met him once and the games were for fun. So why does it hurt?

I feel a bit numb. I feel like my head is spinning and I am not sure what to do. Well, I know what I want to do. I also know what I have to do.

“I’m sorry. I can’t go out with you because I like you. And you’re not Muslim. And I don’t play games. I’m really sorry.”

For me, I am sorry.

Day of Firsts

I want to do another day of firsts on the eleventh of January (1-11-11, see?). I am super excited! Here are my goals:

1. Get at least one person to play with me who has never played before (a first, you see).
2. Possibly make it my first skip day of the year (school year and calendar year).
3. Go out on a first date sometime that day. (Hey, now. Don't judge me. I'm just ready to get out there already and meet someone.)
4. Play something I've never played.
5. Possibly eat something I've never eaten before (this is almost a must for a day of firsts).
6. Visit at least three places I've never been.
7. Possibly turn this into some kind of timed tournament of sorts. (Anyone interested in forming teams?)

I recently played a modified version of day of firsts with a friend of mine and we had a blast. We had to make points throughout the day (for instance, each new experience was five points) doing all sorts of things. Our goal was to make 150 points. We made well over 160. Yay for us! :) Can't wait to do this again? Now, who will join me? Hmmmm....