near death upon the sunrise

sweet hope

ramble on dear friend, i hear you

I can't really explain much. I wish to write it often. I slept with a hole. It wasn't pleasant. I am afraid of so many things yet I have comfort in my fears.

"Not like you"

"Hotels are out of the question"

"Skipping class again?"

Coffeeshop blues

Cold feet lonesome

Reflective misery

Resignation

Tea and cocoa

"He's cute and coming."

"What happened to the last one?"

"So you're gonna let it die?"

"Haram! You can't do that to other people."

"Give them a chance."

I know what's wrong.

For now, I'll just wither away.

For now, I'll sleep.

Sleep til dawn

noon

midday.

Sleep until I wake up

at the beginning of a new world

the end of the last

the second coming

of nearly

nothing.

Every Day

Do you ever wake up in the morning and say to yourself, "Today I'm going to lie to myself"?

Do you ever start your day with a cup of coffee and think, "Today I'm going to lie to everyone else"?

Do you ever wonder how many people wake up and wish they didn't think about the lies eating away at their conscious conscience?

Yeah, me either.

I prefer tea.

Catch up

So much has happened since that day in Ramadan when I wrote last. Funny thing happened that day actually. I happened to write that note one night at school (the university--not the high school). I was supposed to give a presentation on Islam to a group of undergrads studying the Quran in World lit. I've given the presentation many times before, but I was hurried (and harried for that matter) because I was rushing to give the presentation. When I got there, I rushed inside to find the room empty except the professor. Well, it turns out that I had the date wrong. I didn't have a presentation until the week after. Thinking this was okay with me (I mean more time to prepare, and now, more time to get ready for my class the next night thanks to the university computer lab). So I went to the lab, looked up what needed looking up, printed out what needed to be printed out, and surfed the web. I had time to kill and the internet is always calling. I typed that last message. I reflected. I felt lost. And then I went on my merry way to my car.

I locked the keys inside. There they were dangling from the ignition. I actually locked the keys. The car engine wasn't on (Thank GOD!), but the radio was. Despite all this, I didn't freak out (it's not really in my nature to do so). I simply called my brother to bring the spare key. That should solve the problem. So I sat on the grass (that's the romantic in me) and read Quran (I had my copy in my hand since I was going to give the presentation).

It was lovely, until my brother got there.

Well, the key we have at home is the key to the ignition, not the doors (long story, so just take it as it is) and since the battery has been running for a few hours, it's nearly dead and we can't pop the locks with the remote. I still didn't freak out. Still not in my nature.

Only one thing left to do: call campus security. After another 40-50 minutes, we finally pop the door open. I could explain the method we got it open, but it would be a laborious task. Let's just say it took three brains, lots of ingenuity, a few pumps, and patience. Oh, and a lot of hard work!

And to make things better, we then had to have security help jump start the car. It was great fun. (*sarcasm*)

So all in all, I had time to reflect by sitting on the grass with the Quran and not a care in the world (well, except my car and a ride home). Alhamdulillah. :)

Ramadan

I didn't catch the spirit. I have only so many hours left.

I will catch the spirit.

Insha'Allah!

*****